This motherf***a is worth his weight in gold. When I get rich, I want a life-size replica of Chris Gethard made of gold, like an Oscar trophy but better. He’s ascending into the Dhalai Llama of comedy nerds or some shit.
If you’re reading this, it means that an official announcement has been made - The Chris Gethard Show is making a pilot presentation for Comedy Central.
I can’t explain how excited myself and the cast and crew are for this opportunity. Like, I’m sure you know that we must be excited, but…
(at least what my mind associates with them…)
1900s – stuffy, stuffy nose (no smell. But if there was, Probably same as 1910s)
1910s – mothballs and collected dust
1920s – freshly printed money and bootleg whiskey
1930s – dirt drug in from work and tears after the great depression
1940s – hot metal and gun powder
1950s – plastic TV dinner trays and freshly paved driveway concrete
1960s – a lit joint and newly bought records
1970s – fresh sweat and worn polyester
1980s – cotton candy and leather jackets
1990s – newly purchased electronics and fresh cut grass
2000s – public transportation and cigarettes
2010s – hot garbage waiting to be picked up from the curb and moving trucks
I’m now collaborating with the gang at Pit Stop Entertainment! Talented, from Queens, and weird as hell. No wonder I fit in.
watch & subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/user/PitStopEnt
They started a new series following the character “Officer Nicky Blaine” and he’s great. (Follow Nicky on Instagram. Seriously.) This is episode #2: The Deli Thief.
The look of shock and astonishment is pretty real at the end since it was a real knife. And I really got licked. Multiple times.
I suffer for my art… so you don’t have to!
So’s I hoyd people write stuff, like their thoughts and whatnot on this internet thing, so I started doin’ it too.
They call ‘em tweets but I think dat’s just stupid. So, um, come on and click or whatever an read my… stuff.
Yeah, fuck it, whatever you wanna call it, read it. And then meet me at the bar. I saved you a seat. For now.
It is February
and a newspaper ad,
which I assume is intended
to try to speak to me,
says it has the top 20
gifts for me to buy for her. I barely
hesitate for a moment
before asking, “Her, Who?”
After a short silence, I realize that the ad
was not speaking to me, but most likely to
the person who will pick up the paper after
I leave it on the train.
- ted mcadams
Yes, I really did find a paper with that ad, and then wrote a poem about it. Yes it sounds lonely and sad, but who gives a shit; I think it’s more of a bittersweet poem than ‘woe is me’ type of poem.
As with the rest of my poetry that I’m placing up on my blog for all the world to ridicule and appreciate (hopefully in equal amounts), I’m not going to go too much into the deeper meanings of them, as they should inspire whatever meanings or emotions the person wants, and just go on what made me write this shit. (By “shit” I just mean as in the urban vernacular of “thing”, “stuff”, etc.)
And yes, I don’t condone picking up papers on the subway since who knows where they’ve been (most likely under a homeless person’s body part) but I am confident in my ability to clean when I get home, and plus the rest of the subway car is probably just as dirty.
So there seems to be too much going on with this improv vs. stand-up shenanigans - BUT I’ll throw in my 2 cents anyway so I get more page views and people say “who is Ted Mc-whats-his-face again?”
I’m not really choosing sides. It seems to me a matter of personal choice, not something akin to the 99% vs the 1% at the top.
I’m generally pro-UCB but don’t think it would be a big deal if they paid talent for some featured shows. However, if they stuck to their model, I don’t think there would be much fallout besides some talent focusing on other clubs. I think the UCB community is strong enough that it can still be sustainable as is. I mean, they’ve been having some more solo material and stand-up shows at the Chelsea theater before UCB East (I refuse to call it “the Beast”) opened up and no one cried foul of their practices then, or at least it didn’t become a serious issue. Maybe it’s the internet’s fault.
I don’t think anything too drastic is gonna change. Everyone’s gonna learn something from each other. Like alt-comedy theaters and stand-up clubs aren’t easy to manage the same way, although some are able to do so. Maybe some dudes (and chicks) will make a few more bucks. Maybe more people will avoid it for paying gigs because to some those few bucks mean a lot, while others will feel they agree that they can do without the few bucks and focus on the other aspects of the theater.
And lastly, everyone’s going to do a big internet group hug.
They’re all in a BAD MOOD. And if you had a television on Thanksgiving this past November of 2012, then you would know.
Two words. BUTT. FUMBLE.
The heart-throb super-star quarterback for the New York Jets, Mark Sanchez, received the hiked football and tucked his head down and ran head first into one of his linemen’s rear ends and fell down and fumbled the ball.
I’m a casual New York sports fan. I love my city, but if a team loses, they lose. I don’t lose sleep over anything or lose my temper that much. I’m not even going to get into how much they lost that game.
But that one play was ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. And it was also a nice metaphor for the Jets last few seasons. A series of butt fumbles.
In this video, “BAD MOOD BRAD” I play a Jets fan. Brad is a Jets fan that loves the team so much, who is so devastated by their terrible record of letting everyone down, that it affects his daily life. Not even Viagra or Cialis can cheer him up. So he has a permanent scowl reminiscent of Sam The Eagle from the Muppets.
[butt fumble jersey image: deadspin.com]
This skit is “JOYSTICK”. And holy shit is that picture huge.
This one was made for an online ad campaign for the coffee magnate Starbucks, who makes overpriced, yet goddamn it they’re still delicious, coffee and coffee-related drinks. (Click on the ridiculously over-sized picture of the joystick, or click the link below.)
Their campaign was “Sometimes you CAN get things just the way you want.” Since it was vague, it let the various film makers that submitted videos leeway to be a little creative (and some were bizarre, but still entertaining.)
And additional random fun fact - this is my second video using green screen. (It was also used in the 127 hours sketch but I wasn’t in any green screen scenes. Say that 3x fast. Green screen scenes. Lean mean green screen scenes.)
No cakes were harmed in the making of this film. They were eaten, but not harmed.
The video above (click the picture above or link below) is from a storytelling show I did in Washington DC about a magical van. (Side note: The van looked very similar to the one in the random above pic that I googled.)
I’ve done more live performing than on camera for film or video, but I have few sets recorded.
My first two stand-up shows were pretty great. Partially because I had many friends and family there, but also because my material was from some of my better storytelling pieces. However, one of the videos got taken off youtube due to some error, and the second time there was an issue with the camera and it didn’t record. Then there is another set that I bombed and I can barely watch myself. I also have a one-man show but that’s 30 minutes long. I have to figure out how to get it up on the web, and if I really want to since I want to perform it more and hopefully have people pay to see it.
There will be more eventually, but enjoy this one for now. In it, you learn about one of my childhood nicknames, and hear about an adventure I had on the ‘mean streets of Maspeth, Queens”.